Friday, June 9, 2017

Life's Lessons//Goodbyes//Relying On God

My First Goodbye
When I was a little girl life was a fairytale. I grew up playing in fields that once were raspberry fields and were now just rolling hills of tall grass. I walked, ran and just sat in them, "fighting Indians", "walking across the Oregon Trail" or was Laura Ingalls and always by my side was "my" dog Lad. He was my first friend, my first love and I thought he'd always be there by my side. I had no worries or fears. But we all have lessons to learn in this life and it seems mine are to say goodbye.
One day or morning I should say, I woke up and came down to the kitchen and ran to find Lad where he always was before, sleeping on an old rug on the deck by the back door, but this morning he wasn't there and I knew something was wrong. I asked my mama where he was and she told me the sad news that he was dead. I felt like my whole world had come crashing down, my heart was broken. It was my first bitter taste of grief. The first time I felt the reality of life. That was my first goodbye.

The Second Goodbye
Lets go ahead a few years. I'm nine years old. Before I was born my mama was diagnosed with brain cancer and though she had had surgery to remove the tumor it wasn't all removed and the cancer has come back. My mama's battle to survive has begun and it didn't take long for the mama I knew and loved to disappear and a tired and weary woman took her place. There was no more morning breakfasts made by her loving hands to start off the day, no more bedtime readings or prayers. No more trips to the store or her delicious suppers. No more carefree days, but days spent in fear of another seizure, another trip to the hospital. It was going to bed at night knowing I could be awakened to be told the ambulance was coming again to take mama to the hospital. My mama and my childhood were gone. That was my second goodbye.

The Third Goodbye
Five years later, when I was the tender age of fourteen I watched my mama take her last breath. Her weary body had finally had enough and she left this world to spend eternity with Jesus. Once again I tasted the bitterness of grief. Another goodbye. (I don't remember much of what happened the first years after her death, my first clear memories I have are when we were living in SC, two years later.)

The Fourth Goodbye
I'm sixteen, my dad has remarried. They remodel my childhood home, and in a sense a piece of my mama. At a time I need security and stability once again my world is turned upside down. My home is gone, my mama's kitchen, her old rocking chair, my bedroom, and our old way of life with it. My fourth goodbye is for my earthly home.

The Fifth Goodbye
Since I was three years old there was a place that always stayed the same. Through all the hard, sad, crazy, foggy times and all the other goodbyes it was always there. It was The Ranch. Not a real working ranch but a cabin in the mountains of Oregon. A place where we drove and rode four-wheelers, had bonfires and family gatherings. Camping, swimming in the river, exploring the woods. Wildlife was everywhere and the wild flowers brought color to the otherwise mostly brown world of the ranch. It was where I felt the closest to God, where I found rest for my weary soul and body.
It was the closest thing I had left on earth to a real home. But once again goodbyes must be said. The Ranch was sold, no more can we visit the beautiful world of wildflowers, humming birds, river swimming, four-wheeler riding, carefree ice-skating on the pond, sledding down the snowy hills days of the ranch. So a fifth goodbye.

Lessons Learned
Through all my life, through all the goodbyes there is one lesson I have learned. It is that there is a God. He is real and alive and always there. I've learned that Jesus is not only in the days of my childhood, a house or at the ranch. He is with me, in me. I'm slowly learning that no matter what, I will be ok, that goodbyes aren't really the end and even though He might take something, someone, someplace from me, He will never be taken from me! And like chapters in a book, when one comes to an end another one starts so is life like. Each of us must live out our chapters one at a time till Jesus comes to take us home and we close our book with The End and fly to our Heavenly home.
So I will, with Jesus' helping hand, live each chapter of my life for Him! For that is the only purpose of life, where we find the true meaning of our lives and true peace.
Its been a long hard road and I know there's more ahead. But With Jesus as my guide I'll reach my destination. :)


Monday, March 20, 2017

The Songs, Movies, and Books Tag

I was tagged by Felicity at Poems, Prayers and Promises for "The Songs, Movies, and Books Tag".
Sorry my post wont be all pretty and fancy with cool pictures! ;)

1 // A Song That Describes You In Some Way
Learning How To Bend - Gary Allen
A Few Questions - Clay Walker

2 // A Movie That Inspires You
I have a few :P
Amazing Grace
A Man Called Peter
The End of the Spear
Since You Went Away

3 // A Book That The Main Character Is Like You
Anne of Green Gables
Little Women

4 // A Song That You Love
Well besides all hymns...
I will put the first one that came into my mind :)
What A Difference You Made In My Life - Ronnie Milsap

5 // A Movie That You Love
Anne Of Green Gables

6 // A Book You Love
Ivanhoe - Sir Walter Scott
Saving Graces - Laura Ingalls Wilder
Anne of Green Gables The Complete Series

7 // A Song You Do Not Like
I have to put the same as Felicity, "Goodbye Earl" the Dixie Chicks.
I have not heard a stupider song yet!

8 // A Movie You Do Not Like
Many! lol
All Love Comes Softly Movies

9 // A Book You Do Not Like
Anything written by Lauraine Snelling!
I know a lot of you girls like her books, but I just don't. ;P

10 // A Song That Makes You Happy
160 Acres - Marty Robbins

11 // A Movie That Freaked You Out
The Brave Little Toaster! I think this is where my fear of clowns came from. I still cant watch it!!

12 // A Book That Made You Cry
Stepping Heavenward - Elizabeth Prentiss

13 // A Song You Listened To A Lot When You Were Younger
Don't Fence Me In - Moe Bandy

14 // A Movie You Watched A Lot When You Were Younger
Old Yeller
Frosty The Snowman
Davy Crockett
Peter Pan
Sarah Plain and Tall
lol a few :P

15 // A Book You Read A Lot When You Were Younger
Alice In Bibleland
I loved these books growing up!

16 // A Song That Irritates You
I Believe In You - Don Williams

17 // A Movie That Kept You On The Edge Of Your Seat
Vantage Point

18 // A Book That Left You Breathless
Writing The War: Chronicles of a Word War II Correspondence

There you have it! ;)


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

My World//Life Update

I haven't had time to post anything new in awhile. I have some free time down here at my dad's now that I'm through cleaning and can finally sit and write a new post! Life has been sooo busy and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed!
For awhile now I've been stressing about money and I finally thought to pray and ask God to help me find another part time-job and two days later my cousin messaged and asked if Marita and I were interested in taking over cleaning one of her houses for her! I wanted to say "no!", its a huge house (six bathrooms!) and very fancy so I was/am scared to death, but God said "you prayed for a job and I am offering you one. What you going to do?" and so I said a very unwilling yes.
We cleaned it yesterday (Tuesday) and I was there from 9am to 5:30pm. Marita came after work and helped me finish up. It was hard and overwhelming and I'm hoping/ praying we get better and faster at it. I'm not thrilled with it but you do what you have to do. :)
I work everyday of the week now except every other Wednesday. Its kind of exciting! Along with working I babysit twice a week, clean, and make supper once a week as part of my rent. I rarely have weekends as I'm either babysitting or cleaning on Saturdays. So Sunday is really my only free day. Its exhausting.
I came down with the flu a week ago today and was pretty sick for a few days, I still don't feel 100% and I feel like I'm still in a fog. Hope I come out of it soon. It just feels yucky.
I'm very much looking forward to spending a weekend away this month with all five of my sisters! We haven't gone away together in many years, this will be the first time since I've become an adult! So its exciting! Though I will admit it makes me a little nervous. lol :P
Also very much looking forward to another road trip this year in July, this time to church conventions! They are in Minnesota and we are hoping to drive through my dad's childhood town and see his childhood home! I've never seen it so I hope it works out!!
Also we hope to see Mt. Rushmore and I'm excited about that too! lol
Probably one of my clearest and earliest memories is of Mt. Rushmore. I'm not sure how old I was, maybe 1 1/2 or 2 yrs. I remember looking at the faces, it was getting dark and they turned on lights and I remember watching the faces light up and I loved it! Just a short memory but its so clear in my mind. So I really want to go back there.
Running out of time so guess I'll have to say goodbye.
Goodbye! :)


Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Q & A Tag

I was tagged by Daminika @ Walking in the Sonshine for The Q & A Tag!
Thanks! :)

~The Rules~
Thank the blogger who nominated you
Answer the questions you were given
Nominate other bloggers
Write out your ten questions
Let them know they've been tagged


#1 What is your "dream life"?
To marry and travel the world together! Live for awhile in cities and then little villages and see all the different ways of life. And finally settle down in a small town and have a family! "Hey, you said 'dream life'!" :P

#2 Would you rather read the book before watching the movie, or the other way around?
I'd probably rather read the book first, that way I can see them the way I want to see them  and not the way they look and act in the movie.

#3 What was your favorite movie growing up, and do you still watch it?
Oh boy! This ones hard. I think it would probably be "Anne of Green Gables" and yes I still watch it! :)

#4 What actor just has "the voice"?
Just one? Um.... Let me think.... Tom Selleck, Fred MacMurray and Jimmy Stewart! lol I couldn't put just one! :P

#5 Do you watch old movies/TV shows, or would you rather not?
Yes! That's pretty much all I watch. Their storylines had more meaning, more depth back then. Most of them have a moral to the story. They weren't just for show but also to teach you something.

#6 What is the first thing you notice when meeting someone new?
This is strange for how shy I am, but their eyes. That and the way stand... lol I don't know why the way they stand, but I notice it.

#7 What is your favorite time of day?
Midnight! I love it when the worlds asleep and it feels like I'm the only one alive. Its relaxing and free feeling!

#8 What's your "go-to" shirt?
My American Flag t-shirt.

#9 How many plates can you eat in one sitting?
(Blush) Three or four if I let myself.

#10 What are your three favorite baby names?
My three favorite girl names are Carol, Julia and Margaret and the boys' are David, Walter and Henry. I'm very old fashioned when it comes to names. :P



Marita @When I Hear Music
Felicity @Poems, prayers and promises

(I don't have time to make up new Q's so Ill use the same ones)

#1 What is your "dream life"?
#2 Would you rather read the book before watching the movie, or the other way around?
#3 What was your favorite movie growing up, and do you still watch it?
#4 What actor just has "the voice"?
#5 Do you watch old movies/TV shows, or would you rather not?
#6 What is the first thing you notice when meeting someone new?
#7 What is your favorite time of day?
#8 What's your "go-to" shirt?
#9 How many plates can you eat in one sitting?
#10 What are your three favorite baby names?


There you all are! Hope you enjoyed!


Tuesday, January 31, 2017

A Day In Town

Today I did just that. I got a card in the mail a few days ago reminding me it was time to renew my drivers license! Ugh! I kept putting it off (I couldn't renew it online as I'm not yet 24) dreading having to drive downtown.
Then today I just had a peaceful feeling that today was the day to get it over with.
So I showered, dressed in my best clothes, did my makeup, drank some coffee and said a little prayer.
On the way down to the Licensing Department I stopped to eat lunch. I sat down waiting for my food to come when I realized I'd left my cellphone in the car. "Now what?" I thought. I sat there feeling a little silly, being alone and not even having a phone to "do something on". Around me were small groups of friends or others (mostly working men on lunch breaks as school wasn't out yet), alone like me, but on their phones.
Slowly I realized I felt relaxed and "free" without a phone, I found myself thinking about life, other people and then found myself praying. As a person came into my thoughts I'd say a little simple prayer for them and continued on till I had eaten all my food and was ready to leave. I didn't "have" to check Facebook to see what was new and spend all my time scrolling up and down seeing the same old posts and depressing news updates as I would have had I had my phone.
I left feeling completely at peace and not anxious about the drive (If you know me you know I hate driving!) and made it safely to my destination.
Renewing my license was a lot easier and faster than I'd thought it'd be, taking maybe only a half hour in all, and I was on the road again.
I didn't feel like going home yet so I drove to the library and browsed the books and movies, taking my time and enjoying the quiet atmosphere, taking in my surroundings and people watching.
All in all it was a good blessed day! :)
I'll leave you now with a few random quotes. ;) 


Monday, January 23, 2017

INTP Personality//ME

I thought it would be fun to do a post about my personality and let you all get to know me a little better! I got a Pinterest account and have been addicted ever since! I spend hours looking at and reading quotes. I like quotes because I find it hard to find the right words to express myself of any kind of emotion in my own words be it happy or sad. ;) So here are a few quotes that might help you understand why I am the way I am! ;)

 I've been told I'm too truthful at times. I guess I have a hard time
knowing when to say and not to say things 'cause I like to know the truth about myself... :P

 This is true and annoying at time... Its hard.

 Please don't feel offended, its nothing personal. :)

 This is so true! Its very annoying for myself and
for those who know me as well.


 This one is very true, I don't know why I feel
this way and I try very hard to believe people when they
say or do nice things....


 Ugh! This is the main reason I stay quiet, I just cannot
get what I want to say from my head to my mouth!


 I know I'm strange... :/

 Hmmm.... ;P


Well there it is... :)